Enjoying Sex More
Where's the romance?
Romance is what led to sex in the first place. Setting the right mood, creating romantic surroundings, can make all the difference. Create a little love nest. This can be a very intimate place, or an intimate time. Run a bath for your partner, put up some candles, add some scented bath oil, and voila you don't know what will happen. On a more practical note, pack the kids off to grandma for the night, order in some exotic take-away, put a candle on the table, and refuse to let her do any housework. Watch the sparks fly. There are a myriad of ways to alter the mundane, and create situations that immediately increase the chances of a romantic enjoyable encounter. You just need to do it and with the right attitude.
Up for a dirty weekend?
A change is as good as a holiday they say. In the romance stakes, a change of scenery can work wonders. It doesn't have to be an exotic island location (although that would be nice). Get out of the rut. Get out and see something different, and it will bring about different thoughts and attitudes to your sexual perception as well.
Get wild.
Sex in a parked car, a park late at might, on the kitchen floor, sex in an elevator, The risk of being caught at any time, could turn on some partners to the extent it can turn up the heat in a otherwise fading relationship. Maybe try some light bondage or fantasy role. You should never be too old, to shy or too timid to just explore some other possibilities.
Stop arguing!
Resolve any issues that may be stopping you from actually communicating and being a loving couple. Clear out the trash so to speak. Are there unresolved disagreements that you and your partner are avoiding? Confront these and clear them out. Lingering thoughts will lead to unhappiness and avoidance of intimacy on all levels. How do you think you will connect at a physical level, if you aren't even communicating? While it is a old saying, it does have a lot of sound wisdom behind it…Never go to bed angry!
SPICE IT UP....
Rekindle Your Sex Life
Counselor Evelynn
The tempo of everyday life can seems to play havoc with our sexual relationships. There are always reasons to put everything else before our sexual gratification and this is actually a holdover from the 50’s and before. However, this does not have to be the situation if you don’t want it to be.
Do you remember the passion and sexual excitement that got you into the relationships in the first place? That is what life and living is actually all about. With a single partner diminishment of sexual desire can happen over time... almost subtlety. Familiarity, relocation, job loss or financial setbacks, kids, everyday existing can adversely affect our desire from time to time. External circumstances can and do affect the fire. Sometimes a temporary break may actually be a good thing, as this can lead to renewed discovery of one another. Problems can arise when the situation is prolonged. The lack of sexual desire or activity can actually cause distress in the relationship and lead to unhappiness in both partners and breakdowns in communication. This needs to be addressed to avoid causing damage destroying what was a solid relationship.
Make intimate contact a “need”
You need to prioritize being close, just as an item on your to do list. Pick up the laundry, be intimate, etc. We tend to put unimportant activities ahead of our needs all too often. You need to live, not just exist. To live, you need to do certain enjoyable things on a regular basis. Sex is amongst those, so prioritize it along with other fulfilling activities. Don't just assume it will happen, make it happen. This need not be inflexible, but let it happen more often than not. When you push sex aside your relationship will become like any other mundane existence. If you are consistently aware of this possibility you have much better chance of making sure it will not happen. The more you have sex, the more you will want it. And remember, like an exercise program, if you make a regular occurrence over the course of 30 days or so-it WILL become a great habit!
Are you fulfilled?
A common situation causing disinterest, or even anger or resentment, is an unfulfilling sexual relationship. If both partners’ needs are not being met, one will always feel like a victim. This cannot enable a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. Often these are issues that gnaw at the very foundation of a couple. If your needs are not being met, talk to your partner. Work on the situation together. An understanding of the situation is the first step to resolving the issue. In many cases, just letting your partner know what you like is enough to make all the difference. In very few situations is it impossible to find a mutually acceptable compromise to satisfy both partners.
Are you OK?
Make sure that there aren't any physical reasons not to have sex. Women may have discomfort during intercourse for a variety of reasons. Sometimes hormonal imbalances occur, resulting in reduced drive, identify and remedy these. Male impotence, or erectile dysfunction, is very prevalent amongst highly stressed breadwinners. Attack the cause, reduce the stress, and if need be, use some of the available medication and seek medical assistance. This aspect of your health is as important as any other for the quality of your life. Again, seek assistance to resolve the physical issues. Modern medicine is very aware and capable of helping in these situations, there is no need for embarrassment, the issues are too widespread, for you too think that you are the only one with this type of problem.